my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
