i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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