Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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