This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize