just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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