Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
