She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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