PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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