Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
