I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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