he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize