her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I believe in your delicious
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
