Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize