So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
