evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
