woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Im part way to drunk.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
