I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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