I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize