you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
