I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Everything about him screamed your future.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
