Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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