3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
