I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
