That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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