I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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