What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I've blown a few things in my day
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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