its not stalking. its research.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
operation have a gay friend backfired
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
