she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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