oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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