my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I would fuck him just for his dog
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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