three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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