idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
