i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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