Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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