you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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