I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's blow job season.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
