some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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