yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
