so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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