the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
