im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
my poor anus
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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