i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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