...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
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Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
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When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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