drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
