i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
