Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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