And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
