Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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