You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
