The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
