What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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