so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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