you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
