CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it's like heaven, but drunker
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
