I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
