it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
