If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize