well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
