I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
