you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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