Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
