after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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