The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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