Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize