dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
