That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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