Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
