Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
