We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize