Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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